And I Wonder If I Ever Crossed Your Mind

I wish I could hear you say my name. Just to know how it sounds,coming out from those lips. Your lips.

I had a dream about you yesterday night. It felt so fucking real. I could almost feel my emotions flowing through my body,every bit of me. You looked at me. I looked at you. We stared. Our eyes locked.

And in an instant,I felt a familiar feeling. I've felt this once before. Heart racing with excitement,my cheeks had a rosy glow,an instant shock,that absolute thrill I felt travelling all over me.
It felt,
like the first time we met. The first time we ever set our eyes on each other.
When everything and everyone were so innocent,so carefree and I was the only one
you stole glances at and tried to attract.

Then I hear an a continuous ringing sound. Goddamn it,they annoy my ears!
The next thing I knew I was staring at my ceiling,wide-eyed.
And I realised that all of that was a dream.
A fucking,meaningless dream.
My head was playing games with me.
Fuck!
I wish I had never woken up
I really wish I didn't.

Everything was just a dream,but my feelings weren't.
They were real.
They were real.
They are fucking real and I can still feel it everytime you walk by,everytime
you're close by.
The feeling comes back. Stronger each time.

I'm scared. afraid. terrified.
Of you. Scared to even look at you.
I'm afraid if those emotions come back and refuse to go away.
I'm fearful of my feelings towards you.
Ugh!
I'm such an idiot.
Why am I even scared? I really don't understand anything ever.

Please,
Just please without a single doubt,
hold me close, take my hand,place your fingers in between mine and take away all this crippling fear.
and
Erase all the bad memories that we kept in our heads and back pockets.
Now,now,please,do it now.

I want you
I want you
I fucking want you okay.