Blood Like Honey

“I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights.
When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are,
and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years,
your brain can’t quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try,
in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you.
This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain
that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain.
This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild.
This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.”

—Marya Hornbacher

I'm sorry everyone,for being so whiny and upset! I wish I weren't like this.
But on a lighter note,Happy Halloween!
Eat many,many sweets and watch many,many horror films okay?

(As for me,I don't really like candy so I ate many,many chocolates)

Think Quietly

“The world is full of things like that: old postcards, theatre programmes,
leafles about bomb-proofing your cellar, greetings cards, photograph albums,
holiday brochures, instruction booklets for machine tools, maps, catalogues,
railway timetables, menu cards from long-gone cruise liners - all kinds of things
that onced served a real and useful purpose, but have now become cut adrift from the things
and the people they relate to. ~ They might have come from anywhere.
They might have come from other worlds. That scribbled-on map,
that publisher’s catalogue - they might have been put down absent-mindedly in another universe,
and been blown by a chance wind through an open window,
to find themselves after many adventures on a market-stall in our world.”

-Phillip Pullman in the preface to Lyra’s Oxford

***

I've received back my exams results. Even though I'm quite unsatisfied at how some
of the grades turned out,I'm glad that I pass everything. Even Math and Physics.
I feel so relief and quite happy at the same time that all the hard work paid off.
I haven't been doing anything interesting recently and
I still have yet to clear my desk and arrange the books.
But I just began reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and I must say,
that the writing is absolutely brilliant.
The holidays are approaching soon
and I'll pretend that school would never have to open again
and rest my soul for a thousand years.

Pastel Shipwrecks

Wow. I'm back blogging after so many weeks.

I miss not getting touching with you all.

Alot things had been going
on the pass weeks. It was really boring actually.
Almost my entire day time was taken up by school activities and extra classes.

Terrible.
I spent the past week studying...and not studying.

It was quite intense and rush because we had to recall back
all the things that we've learnt throught the year,beginning till end.

I was worrying and panicking through the entire
exam period. I still am now through,a little bit.

I don't think I gave my best this time 'round. But its all over and
we're done for the this school year.

We're just waiting for the results and school holidays now.

Oh,since the exams were over I finally gotten the chance

to go to my favourite local bookstore again.
It's been a long time since I last went and it felt really good to be there again.

It just felt like home to me.
That's about it I think.

I just wanted to tell you all how happy I was when I was there.
I'll post another time. Now I'm going to catch up on your blogs.

I've missed out alot!