Twitter @ImNabeelah

Sunday, December 5, 2010


"There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more
crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room.
It's like watching Paris from an express caboose heading in the opposite direction
-every second the city gets smaller and smaller, only you feel it's really you
getting smaller and smaller and lonelier and lonelier,
rushing away from all those lights and excitement at about a million miles an hour."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

Its truly upsetting and terrifying to feel this way all the time.
Not just about watching two people together,but about everything.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Boring Week(Except for Harry Potter)

Wow.Time passes by really fast and I cannot believe that its almost December!
I guess I have been away for quite
sometime haven't I? Beginning of this week wasn't very pleasant.

I had a really painful tummy ache on Monday.
I hate getting tummy aches because its so disturbing

and it didn't get better until I vomited. I felt so relief after that.
Then on Wednesday this really disgusting lizard came into my room

in the middle of the night while I was awake. It was crawling
on the door,the door was closed,but then my Mom came in unexpectedly

and it fell on the floor and I screamed. It got killed
in the end so all was good. The best day was yesterday,

I went to watch Harry Potter with my very lovely cousin and I thought
it was so amazing and emotional. Honestly,I felt really sad when I walked out of the movie theatre,

I'm not sure if anybody else
feels the way I do but,whenever I leave the movie theatre after watching a really

good movie and one which I really like,I will always,always feel this
kind of unwated emptiness in my heart and its so upsetting!
It feels as though you're walking away from something you love.
I don't know,maybe its just
me getting to emotional and carried away.

The one thing I'm sure is that I will never be over Harry Potter for as long as I live.
I love it that much.

Monday, November 15, 2010


Searchlights over London

“Dear God, let me be something every minute of every hour of my life.

Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry…have too much to eat.
Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere — be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar.
Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute.
And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.”

-Betty Smith

I don't really know or decide what to say yet. But here's a little inspiration to help you get through this week.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Never Tell

I hate that I always like shy guys,
Because I’m shy.
So when we’re both shy nothing happens,
And it’s just lame.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Blood Like Honey

“I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights.
When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are,
and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years,
your brain can’t quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try,
in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you.
This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain
that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain.
This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild.
This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.”

—Marya Hornbacher

I'm sorry everyone,for being so whiny and upset! I wish I weren't like this.
But on a lighter note,Happy Halloween!

Eat many,many sweets and watch many,many horror films okay?
(As for me,I don't really like candy so I ate many,many chocolates)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Think Quietly

“The world is full of things like that: old postcards, theatre programmes,
leafles about bomb-proofing your cellar, greetings cards, photograph albums,
holiday brochures, instruction booklets for machine tools, maps, catalogues,
railway timetables, menu cards from long-gone cruise liners - all kinds of things
that onced served a real and useful purpose, but have now become cut adrift from the things
and the people they relate to. ~ They might have come from anywhere.
They might have come from other worlds. That scribbled-on map,
that publisher’s catalogue - they might have been put down absent-mindedly in another universe,
and been blown by a chance wind through an open window,
to find themselves after many adventures on a market-stall in our world.”

-Phillip Pullman in the preface to Lyra’s Oxford


I've received back my exams results. Even though I'm quite unsatisfied at how some

of the grades turned out,I'm glad that I pass everything. Even Math and Physics.
I feel so relief and quite happy at the same time that all the hard work paid off.
I haven't been doing anything interesting recently and

I still have yet to clear my desk and arrange the books.
But I just began reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and I must say,
that the writing is absolutely brilliant.
The holidays are approaching soon

and I'll pretend that school would never have to open again
and rest my soul for a thousand years.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Pastel Shipwrecks

Wow. I'm back blogging after so many weeks.
I miss not getting touching with you all.
Alot things had been going
on the pass weeks. It was really boring actually.
Almost my entire day time was taken up by school activities and extra classes.
I spent the past week studying...and not studying.
It was quite intense and rush because we had to recall back
all the things that we've learnt throught the year,beginning till end.
I was worrying and panicking through the entire
exam period. I still am now through,a little bit.
I don't think I gave my best this time 'round. But its all over and
we're done for the this school year.
We're just waiting for the results and school holidays now.

Oh,since the exams were over I finally gotten the chance
to go to my favourite local bookstore again.
It's been a long time since I last went and it felt really good to be there again.
It just felt like home to me.
That's about it I think.
I just wanted to tell you all how happy I was when I was there.
I'll post another time. Now I'm going to catch up on your blogs.
I've missed out alot!

Monday, September 6, 2010


You’re going to leave me, aren’t you? …you’ve had enough of me,
haven’t you? You’re probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods,
and I’ve got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of its own,

like I just get hysterical, like it’s something I can’t control at all. And I don’t know what to do,
and I feel so sorry for you because you don’t know what to do either.

And I’m sure you’re going to leave me now.
— Elizabeth Wurtzel.

Wow. Its been a long time since I posted. I think I was too caught up with the all the

other stuff that's been happening around me and
I think I've to come to the decision to take a little break from blogging,

till after my end of year exams are over in mid-October.
But I'm not going to leave blogger though. Not yet.
I will definitely post more when everything's settled and done,
but for now,I'd stop posting for awhile,

unless if I'm feeling really upset and need to vent out or if something
really interesting comes along the way.

Take care!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Slow Hunter

This was her, Mick Kelly, walking in the daytime and by herself at night.
In the hot sun and in the dark with all the plans and feelings.
This music was her—the real plain her…
This music did not take a long time or a short time.
It did not have anything to do with time going by at all.
She sat with her arms around her legs, biting her salty knee very hard.
The whole world was this symphony,
and there was not enough of her to listen…
Now that it was over there was only her heart beating like a rabbit and this terrible hurt.

-Carson McCullers


I felt disappointed with myself in English class today.
We were given twenty minutes to write
an essay on anything in particular and it was based on a diary entry.
Even though I had quite a few ideas to write about I don't know why
I couldn't write out the words onto the paper.
I just kept staring and staring at the paper with only the words
"Dear Diary" written at the top and when I realised I had
only five minutes left to complete,I did what I do best at;

Panic and scribbled down nonsense.
I sort of feel useless.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dare to Dream

I can’t think of any greater happiness than to be with you all the time, without interruption,
endlessly, even though I feel that here in this world there’s no undisturbed place for our love,
neither in the village nor anywhere else; and I dream of a grave, deep and narrow,
where we could clasp each other in our arms as with clamps,
and I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me,
and nobody would ever see us any more.

-"The Castle" by Franz Kafka


I feel better today. But school is getting tougher than ever before and it makes me dizzy.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


Do you ever just get that feeling where you don’t wanna talk to anybody?
You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy, but at the same time,
you don’t know exactly what is wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone
who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone.
People have stopped being comforting, and being alone never was.
At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong
and there isn’t anyone who won’t take, ‘I don’t know,’ as an answer.
You feel the way you do just because, you hope the feeling will pass soon
and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.


I've been so frustrated and annoyed with almost everything
and I've acted harsh towards everyone lately.
I feel sad and lonely all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm sorry.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

(Helpless) Fragile Souls

I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again.
Not ever again. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that.
That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist.
Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that.
I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.
That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
— The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

There was a lovely butterfly in our class flying around aimlessly today.
The boys were being immature and tried scaring it away with brooms and sticks and laughed
and laughed uncontrollably. Poor,poor delicate butterfly,ended up with a broken wing
while trying to escape from those horrifying,cruel,heartless monsters.
I don't find the scene funny the slightest bit.

See now,precious,fragile beings always ends up getting hurt and partially to die.
How are they victims all the time.

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I cringe every time I look at myself in the mirror.
So I almost never ever look at myself in the mirror unless it’s to check that
I don’t have something stuck in between my teeth,

or to see if my nose is still off centre,
or if my face is still horribly asymmetrical or if my face is still funny
or it’s an awful accident but sometimes, it’s so much more than that.
Sometimes, when I can stand looking at myself long enough,

I get scared because I see all of me
and I see all ninety-seven fragments of myself trapped in my champagne-coloured eyes,
struggling to break free. I see weakness and failure and disappointment

and boredom and restlessness.
I see what people see when they tell me I look so much like my mother
but I also see the awkwardness and bafflement in their pitying gazes
because I am not beautiful like her.
I see my father’s eyes.
I see myself cradling my fragility
and I see everything I am and everything I’m not
and everything I should be and everything I can’t be and everything I want to be
but I really see that I’m nothing, and I cringe every time I look at myself in the mirror.
This is the mainly the reason why I don't often go to the restroom when I'm outside

or in someone's home and annoys the hell out of me when people keep on telling me to go.
No,I don't feel like using the toilet and I don't see why I need to groom myself.
It's pretty pointless.
I'd still look horrible and I'd just feel alot worse.
Some people just don't understand this.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Not So Pretty Words

I didn’t want my picture taken because I was going to cry.
I didn’t know why I was going to cry,
but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely
the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat
and I’d cry for a week.
I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like
water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.
-The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath


I've received back my exam papers today.
I did quite well and there has been a slight improvement in my
performance compared to the previous,previous tests that
I took. But I failed one out of the six subjects,and this time it isn't Math,
but Physics!
But oh well,nevermind.
I'll take it as a hint telling me that I need to work much harder next time.
I have another exam this coming September and I'm already feeling very afraid.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


when cute strangers hold the door for you and you wake up to text messages
and you feel appreciated and when you are sunburned
and your body is warm and cold showers in the summer and diet cokes
on the porch and music soaks into your soul and when someone talks to
you first and when “i love you” comes from them first and airplanes and
grass stains and when you catch the sunset just in time and when the coffee
is just right and when you get mail and green lights and when suddenly you wake up
and you feel better and hand holding and when you have adventures
and when you learn to drive and when books make you cry and awkward small talk
and new notebooks and when you you feel cosy and warm drinking tea near the fireplace
on a winter's night and a nice picnic with your family and mates and
pretty eyes and trains and capturing beautiful scenes on camera
just so you won’t forget and new countries and when the light is perfect
and kisses on the forehead and being broken but laughing about it
and when the sky is blue and songs that make
you smile and sand in your shoes and
when you laugh and laugh and laugh

I wish all Muslims a blessed Ramadan.
May Allah grant us strength and peace and beyond
and bless our families and friends in this holy month.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Sometime Tomorrow

I feel like i’m in a really odd in-between stage right now.
I sound like a horrible cliche, but it’s like I’m not a child,
but I’m not quite old enough yet.
I can’t explain it. But all i feel like i can do is sit around.
I'm not quite old enough, so I can’t really do anything.
But I’m not young enough to be entertained by the things I used
to be entertained by.
I hate it when I can’t explain myself.


Everyone will have their own partner or groups to stick around with.
I have no one. No friends.
No one wants to hang around with a madgirl anyway.
I will be the awkward,pathetic-looking girl who will just be
tagging along with the rest.

I will be going on a field trip with my class to some school tomorrow
and its not going to be fun.

Monday, August 9, 2010


Dear City of many races,Good food and Humid weather.

You've given me so much for the pass fifteen years and I feel like

I owe you. So maybe you've never given us snow,castles,
or anything like that. But ah,that's okay,you still have many varieties
of good food and I love you for that!

Happy 45th Independence Day Singapore!

Best wishes for many years to come.

A Very Shy Citizen.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Heart of France

Cities at night, I feel, contain men who cry in their sleep and then say Nothing.
It’s nothing. Just sad dreams. Or something like that…Swing low in your weep ship,
with your tear scans and sob probes, and you would mark them.
Women—and they can be wives, lovers, gaunt muses, fat nurses, obsessions,
devourers, exes, nemeses—will wake and turn to these men and ask, “What is it?”
And the men will say, “Nothing. No it isn’t anything really. Just sad dreams.”

The Information by Martin Amis


I went for the family event thing this afternoon like I was told to.

I was right,most of my relatives were there. Some I knew,some I didn't
and most I'd forgotten their names.
But this time,it was quite different. While I was there,
I spotted a little statue of the Eiffel Tower and a very pretty and big picture of Paris city
hanging on the wall with only the the Eiffel Tower in colour,
as though it was lit with bright yellow lights,while the rest of the city was in black and white.
It turns out that my Aunt had gone to Paris for work matters. I didn't know that.
So instead of watching the adults talking amongst themselves,
I admired the picture while remembering the times
I'd been there and thought Paris city had never been so beautiful,
and was as though the picture was smiling the brightest of smiles which made it
much more beautiful then it already was.

But there was this feeling of sadness inside my heart that was very much hard to explain.

It was a little sad for me. Paris had to be so beautiful but so faraway at the same time.

Less Exciting

I am told to go for a family event thing this afternoon but the tell the truth I don't want to.
It's not like my cousins aren't going to be there,they are. Its just that,
I don't want to and
I don't really communicate with my relatives that much or recognise half of them!
I already know what I'm going to expect.

My relatives are going to say how big I've grown,ask what grade am at I in school,
who's daughter am I,all that stuff and I get really tired hearing them commenting on me.

At the end of the end all I do sit
one spot and look bored while I wait for the the adults to finish talking.

I rather be spending the afternoon in the bookstore browsing through good books.

Secret#1 I don't like going for huge family events and stuff.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Apple Leaves

My exams has ended. I can sleep peacefully now till next season.

P.S. I've missing out alot recently. I'll catch up on everyone's blog and return all the lovely comments.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Castle for the Dream

I'm in a castle
standing in a tower,
looking down through a window
at the beautiful garden,
the sun setting in the distance.

The beauty in the moment
brings tears to my eyes.

Sky blue pink,
the backdrop for
roses in ever color
blooming in the garden.

— Lisa Schroeder (Chasing Brooklyn)


Its been about a week since I last updated. I am so sorry.

The reason I left my blog for a bit is because I had a really
busy week.My exams just started today. (English and Chemistry.)

So the pass couple of days I was busy with school work and such.
I got so caught up with school work that I didn't realise I was worrying again.

And it got so bad that i tired myself,my throat began to hurt,my body ached
and I fall ill the day before the first two papers (yesterday)
But thank god I felt better this morning.

The two papers today was alright and I hope for the very best that the result will turn out good
My exams only ends next Thursday so I'm going to leave this space for awhile.Till then.

I wish you all well. love.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Staying Afloat

(writing to her father) “I have learnt how to live… How to be In the world and Of the world,
and not just to stand aside and watch. And I will never, never again run away from life.
Or from love, either…”

Other than the fact that my pens are always going missing

(i think the little elves and gnomes in the school garden took them!)and mom
being so overprotective of me,life is fine now.
And hopefully it'll get even better.
The exams are in one week's time and I have many things to cover on.

Anxious. That's the right word to describe how I'm feeling the pass few hectic days.

But that's normal for me I guess,I feel like this all the time and possibly,everyday of my life.
I can't wait for everything to be over,then I'll sleep forever till next season,and flyaway to dreamland.

I wish everyone a lovely day. May all of you gain the desires of you heart. love.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

PaperDolls and Crumpled Sheets

"I will tell you what Jeanne was like. She was like a piano in a country where everyone has had their hands cut off."
— Angela Carter

Question: We have family and friends who loves and cares for us,but when stuff happens,

really serious stuff happens,you just feel so alone and you cannot tell people.
They'll probably listen,but they don't know everything. There's just some stuff that you can't share.
So what do you do then?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Picnics & Tea Parties

The weather looks nice today,and I thought how wonderful it'd be if we do a picnic or tea party.
Just thinking about it sounds comforting and relaxing. We'll invite close friends and the birds,bunnies and faeries.
We could sit on cool damp grass,have tea,read books,admire pretty nature and eat colourful berries.
We could watch the clouds and daydream all we want without no one to interrupt us
and we'd stay out till the evening and watch the sunset.

I think that'll be nice,we often dine at fine restaurants,bars and cafes,

why not do something different this time.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Picture Perfect Girl

There's this girl that I know of,with shoulder-length hair,
big brown eyes,she barely has spots on her face,flawless.
She's skinny and has all the right curves.
She could fit into anything her heart desires.
From shirts to skirts,dresses to shorts and tights and skinny jeans.
She's rich,she travels and can afford all those gorgeous clothes.
The ones you find in Topshop,Forever 21 and other designer stores.
She's that girl that everybody wants to be friends with.
She has almost everything. She's blessed.

but,every time I look at her, I can't help but feel horrible about myself. I feel disgusted with myself.
it's like there's a voice inside my head that's repeatedly saying,
"she's so pretty,so perfect.
and what about you?
oh that's right,

(Other than that issue,I'm doing quite alright)

Monday, July 12, 2010

Chase Away the Ghosts from My Head

Coach: All right, Patch. let's say you're at a party. the room is full of girls of all shapes and sizes. You see blondes, brunettes, redheads, a few girl with black hair. Some are talkative, while other appear shy. You've one girl who fits your profile - attractive, intelligent and vulnerable. Dow do you let her know you're interested?

Patch: Single her out. Talk to her.

Coach: Good. Now for the big question - how do you know if she's game or if she wants you to move on?

Patch: I study her. I figure out what she's thinking and feeling. She's not going to come right out and tell me, which is why i have to pay attention. Does she turn her body toward mine? Does she hold me eyes, then look away? Does she bite her lip and play with her hair, the way Nora is doing right now?

— Becca Fitzpatrick (Hush, Hush)

Maybe the first time you saw her you were ten. She was standing in the sun scratching her legs. Or tracing letters in the dirt with a stick. Her hair was being pulled. Or she was pulling someone’s hair. And a part of you was drawn to her, and a part of you resisted—wanting to ride off on your bicycle, kick a stone, remain uncomplicated. In the same breath you felt the strength of a man, and a self-pity that made you feel small and hurt. Part of you thought: Please don’t look at me. If you don’t, I can still turn away. And part of you thought: Look at me.

The History of Love, 2005

-Nicole Krauss

I know I'm posting this late,and I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before,but I want to thank Petty Writer,Christiejolu and Stella for the wonderful awards they had given me quite recently.
Petty Writer:

I don't really have anything much to talk about today. It just that my mind is so occupy on so many things. I so very worried about the exams that I'll be taking the next month,the end of the year,and the year after that,and the year after that year. I'm worried that I'm not studying enough,I'm not trying enough, I'm worried about how am I going to make it to college. I'm worried that I'll fail again. I worry about everything.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Caught In Between

I went over to my window and opened it and packed a snowball with my bare hands. The snow was very good for packing. I didn’t throw it at anything, though. I started to throw it. At a car that was parked across the street. But I changed my mind. The car looked so nice and white. Then I started to throw it at a hydrant, but that looked too nice and white, too. Finally I didn’t throw it at anything. All I did was close the window and walk around the room with the snowball, packing it harder. A little while later, I still had it with me when I and Brossard and Ackley got on the bus. The bus driver opened the doors and made me throw it out. I told him I wasn’t going to chuck it at anybody, but he wouldn’t believe me. People never believe you.

The Catcher in the Rye, 1951

-J. D. Salinger


Its Friday night and I'm just sitting at home wasting precious time. My Friday nights are always like this. I know that somewhere across town,in a rich girl's house there's a party going on, which is held by my former classmates.It's not really a party,more of a class gathering. I was invited actually,but I felt that I didn't really want to go. Because,if I did go,I knew that I wouldn't be enjoying myself,even though I'd be surrounded by all the so-called "cool people'' (from what I heard,they're the only ones going). They aren't really bad people. Sometimes they're nice to me,sometimes they're not. It funny you know. We've been together as a class for two years,and still don't get along,and we act like strangers when we see one another. They see me;quiet and timid,I see them; loud and obnoxious. We're opposite.
And to be honest,I like my current 2010 class much better,even if some say they don't.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Never Let Me Go

In his highly acclaimed novel NEVER LET ME GO, Kazuo Ishiguro (THE REMAINS OF THE DAY) created a remarkable story of love, loss and hidden truths. In it he posed the fundamental question: What makes us human? Now director Mark Romanek (ONE HOUR PHOTO), writer Alex Garland and DNA Films bring Ishiguro's hauntingly poignant and emotional story to the screen. Kathy (Oscar® nominee Carey Mulligan, AN EDUCATION), Tommy (Andrew Garfield, BOY A, RED RIDING) and Ruth (Oscar® nominee Keira Knightley, PRIDE & PREJUDICE, ATONEMENT) live in a world and a time that feel familiar to us, but are not quite like anything we know. They spend their childhood at Hailsham, a seemingly idyllic English boarding school. When they leave the shelter of the school and the terrible truth of their fate is revealed to them, they must also confront the deep feelings of love, jealousy and betrayal that threaten to pull them apart.

I really want to watch this film. But unfortunately,its rated R which means I'm not allow to. I've not yet read the book though. I just happened to come across this when I was browsing videos on YouTube. But I heard the book is a really great read. I'll most definitely get it sooner or later.
I watched it for the first time and got really attracted to the story and I had this strong desire to watch it. I really like (literature) love stories like this,they've got the best lines,they alsways left me in deep wonder and thought about people and life.

I'm really sorry,but I couldn't refrain myself from posting these lines that caught my attention from this 2 min 29 secs trailer,there's something about them that I personally feel is really deep.

"....and now i spend most of my time not looking forwards but looking back on what happened..."

"there once was a boy who had ran off beyond boundary,they found him in the woods with his hands and feet cut off.
who told you this stories?
everybody knows them.
and how would you they're true.
you make up stories as horrible as that."

"i feel tommy really likes you as a friend,he just doesn't see you that way"

"we didn't have to look into your souls,we had to see if you had souls at all."

"i wish i could help you,you're poor creatures."

"maybe none of us really understand what we've live through or deal with till we had enough time"

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Meet my nephew,baby Khairin,pronounced as Kh-i-rin. Isn't he just adorable?
His teeth hasn't fully grown and he's not able to walk just yet.
I get to see him everyday after school at my Grandam's.
He's big and healthy and the whole family loves him.
He turned 1 year old yesterday. Happy Birthday to him,yay!
Things he loves: milk,sleep,clapping his hands,and more milk! Hee.. :)

Sunday, July 4, 2010


Harvey and I sit in the bars… have a drink or two… play the juke box.
And soon the faces of all the other people they turn toward mine and they smile.
And they’re saying, “We don’t know your name, mister, but you’re a very nice fella.”
Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments.
We’ve entered as strangers - soon we have friends.
And they come over… and they sit with us… and they drink with us… and they talk to us.
They tell about the big terrible things they’ve done and the big wonderful things they’ll do.
Their hopes, and their regrets, and their loves, and their hates.
All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar.
And then I introduce them to Harvey… and he’s bigger and grander than anything they offer me.
And when they leave, they leave impressed.
The same people seldom come back; but that’s envy, my dear.
There’s a little bit of envy in the best of us.

-Elwood P. Dowd

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Under Milk Wood

Come closer now.

Only you can hear the houses sleeping in the streets in the slow deep salt and silent black, bandaged night. Only you can see, in the blinded bedrooms, the coms and petticoats over the chairs, the jugs and basins, the glasses of teeth, Thou Shalt Not on the wall, and the yellowing dickybird-watching pictures of the dead. Only you can hear and see, behind the eyes of the sleepers, the movements and countries and mazes and colours and dismays and rainbows and tunes and wishes and flight and fall and despairs and big seas of their dreams.

From where you are, you can hear their dreams.

-Dylan Thomas


I'm starting to save up money bit by bit each day now. I'd usually stop halfway when comes to saving up. But its different this time,I need it for my future plans. Mom's challenging me,she says I won't save up enough and that I won't keep my word in doing these things. I'm going to prove her wrong this time.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Pretty Things

Sunlight sounds like a symphony I’ve yet to hear
without teary eyes, or a feeling similar to that of anticipation
of disappearing entirely
I used to say that it were better that I’d not speak
unless spoken to, but now I’m not so sure
today I thought I’d lost my voice
as I waited for you to pick up the phone
six rings and I hung up
you won’t call back
I watched the world wake up while everyone else slept
and the light bled through the fog, the color of chrysanthemums
all i wanted was to know that I could sleep again, tire again
because my heart’s been beating for so long and the sound
it’s beginning to define who I am quite simply
in place
more related to a string of pearls, a porcelain key
than all the creeps and grows on earth
wild and tangled
awake and asleep, always singing with the passing of hours
I’d rather be put on mute.

-Virginia Woolf

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Wands,Brooms and Magic

Finally,finally,finally the trailer is out. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I really cannot wait for the movie to come in theatres.

I remembered the first time I set myself into the the world of magical wands,brooms and magical school.
I was about 9-10 years old and I happened to saw the trailer of The Prisoner of Azkaban on television. I didn't know what came over me but I just had this urging,exciting feeling of watching it. It was really strange because at that time I didn't know anything about the series at all. But I just went ahead and saw it,along with my Mom and Dad. That's when my craze for the series began. Surprisingly, even my Mom like it!!

Seeing the Deathly Hallows trailer has made me felt sad that the series was coming to an end. But at the same time I am so very,very thankful to J.K Rowling for creating this magnificent magical Harry Potter world that everybody loves. Her imagination and creativity is beyond words. Her books shall be cherished forever.

P.S. Seeing this made me forget that Twilight even existed! Sorry Twilight fans.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Whitney-Only a Matter of Time

Create a playlist at

I can hear it in the wind,
And when we are together, I can feel it
Theres something in your smile that I cannot seem to find but I just need it

Maybe its just time for me to tell you all the stories Ive been keeping
Call it love, but I can tell you I dont know the meaning

I wanna know what its like to be loved by
The road ahead is long enough for me to figure out what feels right

The sun is going down and I can see it in your eyes its been a long day
I promise Ill be here for you until you wait tomorrow is a new day

Maybe its just time for you to tell me all the secrets youve been hiding
Cause I could see it in your eyes youve waited so long for the right thing

I wanna know what its like to be loved by
The road ahead is long enough for me to figure out what feels right

And the sun is brighter when you are alone with me
When its nighttime youre the only one in my dreams
But you cant see me

I wanna know what its like to be loved by
The road ahead is long enough for me to figure out what feels right

I wanna know what its like to be loved by
The road ahead is long enough for me to figure out what feels right

Its only a matter of time

Summer Break is Over,For Me

My summer break is over and I start school tomorrow which is very,very sad. I think its kind of pathetic that they only gave us a month holiday and it feels so soon. I don't know,maybe I'm just saying because my vacation took most of my holiday time and therefore making me feel like a month wasn't enough.
But I feel different this time. I'm not so upset about school starting,because I know that once it does,they'll be many,many activities going on,and it'll keep me more busy and occupy rather than just sitting at home and staring at the computer screen for the whole day.
After tomorrow,I'll probably blog less,but not entirely gone or anything like that. Reason being,I need to focus more on my not-so-very-goo subjects,which are,Chemistry,Physics and Math. My next exam is in August and if I don't do well I'll be in deep trouble.
Oh,an I just remember,they'll be P.E again. Tsk. :/

P.S. Aw,I didn't get to catch Toy Story 3 in 3D. I really wanted to but I didn't have anyone to go with because almost everyone were so busy. I really wanted to see Barbie and Ken in it!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Trip to Europe

I've finally managed to upload the pictures of the trip.So anyway,the pictures are in the order that I took,from the 1st day 'till the last.
I visited six countries in total.

London-We stayed 2 nights in London and we did a city tour; Tower o London,Buckingham Place and other historical attractions. We also went outside of London to Oxford Street,where they showed us the colleges and universities and explained on how the education system works.
We also went to Stratford upon Avon also know as Shakespeare's Birthplace and I was feeling so excited at that time getting to enter the little cottage and stepping on the wooden floor that he(one of the greatest poets) use to walk on. They showed us the around the little hose,into the his bedrooms,the kitchen,the garden. But unfortunately they did not allow photos to be taken in there :(
So then we went back to the city and I did some shopping and I got to ride on and English cab for the first time in my life!
I wish I had more time in England though,because I wanted to explore more. I wanted to see the theatre,museums,try riding the bus,I wanted to do some more shopping.

Paris-So let me tell you about the embarrassing thing that happened to me in this city first. I was at Galeries Lafayette,the huge shopping mall where many,many people come at shop at. I was browsing the souvenirs section,when I accidentally dropped one of glass souvenir! And people were going "ooooh"and i was feeling panicky and then the shop assistant came and she kept saying "itz ok,itz ok" and i kept saying "I'm so sorry,I'm so sorry" then she began to rearranged the souvenirs and I went further away from there and i pretended to look at things as if it the stares didn't bother me at all and then everybody continued on with their lives.

Apart from that,we took a city tour around Paris and went for the Seine river cruise. It was splendid and Paris is a really beautiful city!

Belgium-I shop quite a lot in Belgium plus and we visited the statue of "The Little Boy". I don't quite remember its actual name but its has got something to do with him peeing,I think.

Holland,Amsterdam-WINDMILLS & CHEESE!! I bought many,many souvenirs here. We visited the countryside and it the scene was really marvellous. My dad joked about wanted to buy a house there. (i wish he would though) And I visited the clog center too. I think they're really pretty and fashionable somehow. We also went for a boat cruise and visited the diamond factory.

Germany-In Germany,we went to Cologne then Frankfurt and Heidelburgh. We board the Rhine river cruise. which I really,really love. Then we viewed Heidelburgh Castle. And we also visited Rhine Falls,the largest waterfall in Europe and also to Lake Titisee Oh,and we also visited the Cuckoo Clock center.

Switzerland- Switzerland was the only place where I didn't shop because the prices there were way over my budget. But the sceneries there were really breathtaking and I went up Mount Alps and thankfully it rained that day,means that there was snow! I got to experience real snow for the first time.

My trip was really amazing and an unforgettable experience,especially since World Cup was going on,cause everybody was so lively on the city streets. I want to go back again. I'll start by counting down my spending and saving more money.

P.S. I look really pathetic and un-glam in those photos,also my photography is really bad. I apologise for that!
I will reply to all of you tomorrow,I'll wake up bright and early and catch up some blogs tomorrow.

Photos (London) Part I

Took this at the hotel.Me,being so random and awkward :)