I went over to my window and opened it and packed a snowball with my bare hands. The snow was very good for packing. I didn’t throw it at anything, though. I started to throw it. At a car that was parked across the street. But I changed my mind. The car looked so nice and white. Then I started to throw it at a hydrant, but that looked too nice and white, too. Finally I didn’t throw it at anything. All I did was close the window and walk around the room with the snowball, packing it harder. A little while later, I still had it with me when I and Brossard and Ackley got on the bus. The bus driver opened the doors and made me throw it out. I told him I wasn’t going to chuck it at anybody, but he wouldn’t believe me. People never believe you.
The Catcher in the Rye, 1951
-J. D. Salinger
***
Its Friday night and I'm just sitting at home wasting precious time. My Friday nights are always like this. I know that somewhere across town,in a rich girl's house there's a party going on, which is held by my former classmates.It's not really a party,more of a class gathering. I was invited actually,but I felt that I didn't really want to go. Because,if I did go,I knew that I wouldn't be enjoying myself,even though I'd be surrounded by all the so-called "cool people'' (from what I heard,they're the only ones going). They aren't really bad people. Sometimes they're nice to me,sometimes they're not. It funny you know. We've been together as a class for two years,and still don't get along,and we act like strangers when we see one another. They see me;quiet and timid,I see them; loud and obnoxious. We're opposite.
And to be honest,I like my current 2010 class much better,even if some say they don't.
Even at my advanced age I felt easily and readily what you describe. Most of my life--and even today--same stuff happens as YOU (H.S. class of 1951)...there were the "in" Peeps...and me.
ReplyDeleteYa know what I found out, thought. If I changed, THEY did! How did I change? I went into a room in the club kitchen, bathroom, an office, ANYWHERE! I kneel if possible, or appropriate for you/me, and I ask m
"my" higher Power to "please help me, one way or the other...maybe learn something from the experience, etc. Help arrives (for me, now!) IMMEDIATELY. Maybe because I believe it? I don't know. Realy i know nothing...but some time give that a try. What's to lose???
Hope this comment was not offensive to you, it was sent with sincerity.
--steveroni
Well I hope you meet some quiet people like you that you can be friends with. (:
ReplyDeletexx,
~Abby~
I loved The Catcher in the Rye paragraph, it was so beautiful. And I know exactly what you mean. I was invited to a party because I'm friends with the host or what not but all of the 'cool people' were going there and I felt uncomfortable. The party's tomorrow but I'm not going. Have a lovely week =)
ReplyDeleteYou know my nephew is 16. He hates people his age...Seriously...He will say "I hate teenagers" I am like "Um you are a teen" He just doesn't connect with his peers but can hold a conversation and keep a group of 30 year olds entertained for hours...So you are not alone...Just because they are labeled the cool crowd does not mean they are cool...So there are no not so wise words of wisdom for the day...LOL! Have a good weekend!!!
ReplyDeletedon't worry, hun, my Friday evenings are pretty much like this, too :) And there's nothing worse than to go to a party when you don't REALLY feel like going, you know? You're right, you wouldn't be enjoying yourself. And, trust me, there's no point in trying to be friends with people who "sometimes are not nice to you" just because they're labelled as "cool". People who are cool in their teen years very often don't end up being so cool later you know?
ReplyDelete:)
i´ve also felt the way you describe, but don´t worry, someday you´ll find the right people, someone you feel confortable and happy with ^^
ReplyDeletelots of love!
xxxxx
I know this feeling. It's Friday. Tonight, my friends are partying. I have no interest at all. Not because I'm antisocial, but because it's just not my thing, and they don't get it. I don't want to be hungover everyday day.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great weekend.
LOVE!
Abby's comment is so sweet.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to every party in my high school years, and I don't regret it. I only went when I felt like it, even if my friends were pressuring me to go, i would only go when it was my choice. I was somewhere in between, quiet yet outgoing at times, so my friends were a mix of both as well. When I wanted to party I had those friends, but when I wanted a quiet, relaxing weekend going to the park and reading some books, I had those too. Don't think about it as wasting time, you are not, as long as you are comfortable and having a good time (whether is partying or sitting quietly) ^_^
One of the things that will never change. I sort of know how you feel - invited to a school reunion, do I really want to go? Never one for class discos/parties when I was at school, why should I bother now?
ReplyDeleteI can say ditto to everything in the last paragraph! I can totally relate! And don't worry, it's better to be quiet than loud (that's written somewhere in the Bible. Can't remember where though).
ReplyDeletexx Blaize.
i think, we all know this.
ReplyDeletebeautiful dear.
xo
love this xx
ReplyDelete