Twitter @ImNabeelah

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Tiny Billion Little Feathers

Dear Beautiful,

I am sorry I'm boring. Even boring myself. I'm too shy,too quiet,so much quieter than any mouse. I am incapable of speech,incapable of making up a good comeback whenever you talk to me. My poor aching mind doesn't work like that. It doesn't work in a flash. Maybe its because I do to much thinking that I over think somethings too much. Somethings things that are quite unnecessary,that wouldn't really matter to anyone but just me. But that's okay,I guess curiosity is a powerful thing.

My heart sighed. The sigh of radiated from the hole in my chest,from a place that had never seen light,from a place that had taken all joy and given me only loneliness with the very water I drink,the very air I breathe. I feel empty,parts of me are missing. I'm not invincible,no where near that.

I am surrounded by people who say they're my friends,my family,they'll be there for me. But their actions towards me brings such great disappointment when they ditched me before in my time of need,and if they can do something like that once,I have no doubt they can do it again. Now trust isn't an option.

"Save me,save me!" I desperately cried. But I still see no hand,no heart,no help.
Helpless.Helpless.Helpless.

So for now,with each passing day,I'd write my heart out A heart that's carrying all these extraordinary emotions,restlessly waiting for the right time to burst everything out,one at a time,bit my bit.. I'd write for my own being,my own hurtful,cold soul and for everyone else who cares to read and who's gone through similar phases,captures everyone imaginations.

17 comments:

  1. "incapable of making up a good comeback whenever you talk to me" - That was always me. I was pretty much ostracised from groups because of this. People can be harsh, but I found that those people weren't the good ones anyway :)

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  2. yes i remember my past once ,
    nice post

    take care have agreat sunday

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  3. i think you met some bad situtation , hope your future will b bright with good memories

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  4. oh, you are not boring at all! so, so beautiful. i love your blog ♥ xx

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  5. Oh, Nabilah. I wish you could be happy. You deserve it. And you are oh so not boring! I just think you don't let people see the true you, the you that you let out in your posts and your awesome tumblr pictures.
    Here's my e-mail if you ever wanna talk:
    yandr_1995@yahoo.com
    Enjoy your day, truly!
    xx,
    ~Abby~

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  6. Sorry to read that you are not feeling too good. I'm like that at the moment too! I find it very hard to talk about myself and I wish I were one of these people who could just chat about anything.
    An awful lot of bullying is going around at the moment too, as well as a couple of people that I have come across at being Anti-English! Can you believe that?
    Anyway, sweetie, if you ever get anyone bothering you, just give me a shout....I'm ready for some kick-ass time!
    Feel better soon.
    Big hugs!

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  7. who said you were boring? you are not boring on any level.

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  8. Never boring my friend! So many people wouldn't come here if you were.

    Shopping always makes me feel better when I am in this kind of mood. LOL!

    Feel better kiddo! It gets better!

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  9. I do not think you are boring.
    I'm like that too, too quiet, too shy, and I can never come back with comebacks, not till at least 10 minutes later when the time has passed anyway.
    You are not alone, you have us here on blogger, we care. When you are upset we are here, and when you are happy, we are here. You are never alone.
    *Hugs*

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  10. Nabilah, you write so beautifully, you are not boring at all.
    Remember that we care about you.

    LOVE!

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  11. no way are you boring!

    this post was beautiful and sweet, I loved it.

    My heart sighed. The sigh of radiated from the hole in my chest

    I love it. ^

    xx scarzz

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  12. Hope you feel better soon... writing about it always helps ♥

    Mon Mode Blog

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  13. awww your blog is so beautiful...

    xxx kissmequick

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  14. i love your blog!! and i feel like my friends and family aren't there in times of need either. like, they say they care SO much until i actually need them...ugh. i hope you feel better though!

    xo tiffany

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  15. I love those Chines finger thingys.!!
    (:
    -Xoxo
    Brooklynn

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  16. You are definitely NOT boring! I think you write beautifully. It's always honest and raw, I love it. x

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  17. you are anything BUT boring. and, because the way you write always leaves me speechless, I'm just going to say - I love this blog of yours

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